Four frustrating hours on Adelaide roads last week got me thinking about leadership. I must confess that few things in life can test my patience like drivers who sit in the fast lane oblivious to the fact that they are choking up the traffic. I know all the right things to tell myself about how “it’s an opportunity to slow down and develop some patience”. But the truth is I had somewhere I needed to be and three lanes of traffic were crawling well below the speed limit because a few individuals wouldn’t get out of the way.

That’s a picture of many organisations. When those who are in leadership positions don’t lead they choke up the pathway to the future. They’re often unaware of the frustration others feel towards the pace they are setting. But it’s called the fast lane for a reason (or a passing or overtaking lane depending on where you live). What a huge disservice it is to teams when they’re led by people who have forgotten that leadership is not just another lane, it’s a fast lane that should be used purposefully or else vacated so others can lead.

So how do you know if you’re being a Fast Lane Frustration as a leader?

1. Check Your Rear View Mirror
If you look behind you in leadership and people are chomping at the bit to get past you then perhaps you should ask yourself if you’re using the leadership lane effectively. You can tell people to be more patient, blame the next generation for being pushy, or defend your right for it to be “your turn” but there’s no escaping the responsibility that comes with that lane. Do what you want in the slow lane, but if you’re going to choose the fast lane, use it well.

2. Check Your Speed
I’m not saying that every tailgater is evidence that I’m not leading. The truth is some people really do need to slow down and stop being a hazard. But I should be prepared to check my own speed to see if I’ve slowed down without realising it. Perhaps I got into the leadership lane full of vision and ideas but lost some momentum as time went by.

3. Check Your Attitude
Do I see leadership as my right or do I see it as a responsibility? My attitude towards others and towards my position in leadership can create dangerous blind spots. It’s interesting how easily I can judge people as ‘idiots’ for driving slower than me, while labeling others as ‘maniacs’ for driving faster than me. A little self-awareness and a healthy does of humility can serve a leader very well.

4. Check If You’re Getting Ahead
How long since you actually passed somebody? The leadership lane isn’t the place for just keeping pace with the rest of society, it’s designated for progress. Have you got the same peer group as you had five years ago or have you passed some of them and caught up with others that used to be ahead of you on the leadership journey?

As for me, my leadership commitment is clear. I will pursue self-awareness, be aware of the pace I set and check my attitude regularly. And if the day comes when I am not using the leadership lane to make progress anymore, then I will get out of the way so someone else can.

I’d love to hear your comments and feedback
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I met a coach recently who had tried to give away $50 notes on the streets of Sydney. I was fascinated as he told the story about how hard it was to give away genuine money to strangers. Some people apparently thought it was a scam. Some avoided eye contact and just walked past him. Others actually crossed to the other side of the street when they saw him trying to hand out cash. What does that say about human nature? Why is skepticism the default setting for many of us? I wonder how many good things have I talked myself out of because they seemed just ‘too good to be true’.

For better or worse, people don’t tend to trust strangers. Think about what that means for your organisation. Too often we focus on the value of our product or service in the way we communicate with our target audience. We tell them it’s the best, the most, the first, the only. But you’ll have to do better than that to convince strangers who would cross the street to avoid free cash. Regardless of how valuable what you’re offering truly is, without trust it mostly falls on deaf ears.

So what can we do to bridge the gap?

1. Build some trust
Trust is foundational for relationship, and relationship closes the gap between us.

• If your goal in sales and marketing was developing trust (instead of pitching how amazing your stuff is) what would you do differently?
• What could you stop doing that has been eroding their trust?
• Who do they trust already and what could you learn from them?

2. Build a crowd
I suspect the $50 trust experiment would turn out differently in a crowded shopping centre. Instead of confronting individuals with my offer, if I was shouting it to a crowd it would only require a few people to decide it was worth the risk and a tipping point would be reached. As people saw others running to a guy who was handing out cash, more and more of them would override their cynicism for fear of missing out on a good thing. Such is the power of a crowd.

• How could you create the stampede effect with your one-to-many marketing?
• What else could you do to enable your core clients to spread the word to the crowd?
• Do people see a crowd when they look at you? Most people don’t want to go first.

3. Build their dream
A friend of mine called Taki is a marketing guru and he often says, “Education builds rapport, selling breaks rapport”. I write The Leadership Coach every fortnight for thousands of people and give it away free, but education has built rapport. So it’s no surprise that most weeks I receive an enquiry about a speaking engagement or leadership workshop as a result of these articles. In helping others build their dreams I’m seeing my own dream built.

• What could you do to help people achieve their dreams?
• Do they see you as a salesperson or partner in their vision?
• How well do you understand the dreams and challenges of those you hope to influence?

I’d love to hear your comments and feedback
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It’s widely accepted as common sense that increasing transactions is good for your business, but often it just isn’t true.

• Have you ever purchased something at a store and got the distinct impression that you were an interruption to the salesperson?
• Have you received the sort of service that leaves you wondering if that business saw you as a person or a ’sale’?
• Or how about the salesperson who rattles off their script and doesn’t seem to hear a word you say?

The danger for those businesses is that on the profit & loss statement those transactions might have looked good, but the experience left you less likely to choose that business again. So what is the solution? I’m convinced that it’s not just transactions that build your business- it’s interactions. Transactions are ok to a point, but nothing leaves an positive impression on people like great interactions do.

I have three kids and I remember clearly those first moments when each of them were born. I’ll never forget looking into my daughter’s eyes for the very first time. In that moment we had a connection that didn’t require words and that impacted me for life. Sadly though I have found that in the busyness of life, with all of its pressures and to do lists, that it’s easy for those interactions with my kids to deteriorate into mere transactions. Played with the kids? Tick. Got the groceries? Tick. Baths and bedtime? Tick. Transactions.

So if even the most significant relationships in our lives can slip into becoming transactional, how much more is that true of your customers who you connect with for just a few minutes? Sometimes it’s easier to just churn out transactions than to take a moment and connect with people in a genuine way. But interactions are what human beings crave. Sure, we have our busy days when we just want to buy something and go. But at the core of human nature is a desire to matter, to be noticed, to be treated with dignity, to connect.

But how does a leader build the sort of team that deliver on this consistently? Here’s one answer. I spoke at an event for small business owners recently and a very successful franchise owner shared her hiring strategy. It was simple yet profoundly effective. She said “I hire for personality, then train for skill”. While other franchise owners were looking through applicants’ resumes for experience in food service or academic achievements she was looking for one thing – the right personality. “I can train them to operate a register”, she said “but I can’t train them to be nice”. And with that simple formula she was building a winning team.

So perhaps it’s time to do an inventory-

• Where does personality feature on your list of priorities when hiring staff?
• Are you underestimating the number of roles on your team that need to be delivering genuine interactions?
• And what do people experience when they connect with your organization? Transactions or interactions?

I’d love to hear your comments and feedback
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