Airbrushes, Avatars and Authenticity

Airbrushes, Avatars and Authenticity

Posted on 12. Apr, 2010 by in Leadership, The Leadership Coach™

Airbrushes
Have you ever seen how much editing is done to the photos of models before they appear on the cover of a magazine? The contrast between the before and after shots is astonishing. In the hands of a graphic designer just about every imperfection can be fixed. Got wrinkles? Nothing a little Photoshop airbrushing won’t fix. Looking a bit pale? No problem, there’s a filter for that. Teeth slightly off-colour? Not when we’re done editing.

Sadly, many leaders today are airbrushed too. Whether it’s driven by pride, or pressure or the pursuit of perfection it takes a heavy toll on the individual and on those they lead. The airbrushed leader and those who edit their image are ruthless with every imperfection. They crop and edit, filter and retouch, copy and paste, mask and delete. Perfection is the elusive standard, but in real life it’s a constant struggle to live up to the standard of the unblemished hero.

For many years I was an A-grade people pleaser. It’s an exhausting life, and in many ways an unfulfilling one too. When you lead that way it isn’t about being yourself, it’s about how people will perceive you. The airbrushed leader gets nervous about taking risks, saying sorry, empowering their team, or resting when all their ducks aren’t in a row.

Avatars
The rise of “avatars” began long before James Cameron’s epic blockbuster film by that name. In internet and gaming circles an avatar is a character or icon that represents you. You might be a 12 year old kid in real life, but your avatar can be a 6ft burly assassin called LoneWolf. 18 million users have avatars in the hugely popular online game Second Life where they say, “The only limit is your imagination. Who do you want to be?”. In James Cameron’s movie the lead character is confined to a wheelchair, but not when he lives through his Avatar.

Leadership is not virtual reality but it’s easy to forget that when people start feeding your ego. Perhaps my avatar could have the business leadership of Richard Branson, deliver speeches like Barack Obama and have the hair of Donald Trump (ok, maybe not). I hope you hear my point though… it’s a dangerous and hollow game to live through an identity that isn’t really you. I truly want to be inspired by great leaders but without forgetting who I am or becoming detached from the reality of the things I need to work on in my own leadership.

Authenticity
What a release it is when we live with authenticity. To be the genuine article, or “Fair dinkum” as we say in Australia.

Interestingly I’ve found my friendships richer since I dumped the airbrush. It also turns out that people are only more willing to follow you when you’re not pretending you’re bulletproof because you wear your undies on the outside.

These might just be the most important leadership lessons I’ve learned.

No make up, no make believe. Just the daily choice to be yourself and the best “you” you can be.

I’d love to hear your comments and feel free to use the links below to pass this article on

Be Sociable, Share!

No closely related posts.

Tags: , , , ,

12 Responses to “Airbrushes, Avatars and Authenticity”

  1. Mark Gee

    12. Apr, 2010

    Thanks for focussing on the hearts of leaders. Enjoying your blog mate. Are you going to be in Sydney for the TED.COM event? I’m sure you have an “idea worth spreading.”

    [Reply]

  2. David

    12. Apr, 2010

    Great thoughts. Imagine al the time, money and energy that could be saved if we all focused on being better at being us than on airbrushing and avatar-ing!!!

    [Reply]

  3. Paul Andrew

    12. Apr, 2010

    Thanks for the feedback Mark – and I leave for NYC the day before TED in Sydney. Definitely on the wishlist of events to attend!

    And David – I couldn’t agree more.

    [Reply]

  4. Chris Carrero

    12. Apr, 2010

    Loved the honesty Paul. Its such a simple concept “being yourself” but we somehow lose focus and try to be someone we’re not, when all along the people following us just want someone who is genuine.

    [Reply]

  5. Barry Southgate

    12. Apr, 2010

    This was one article that needed to be written man. So good.

    Truth!

    B

    [Reply]

  6. Mavis

    12. Apr, 2010

    Powerful message! I am imagining the healthy & life changing workplaces, churches, communities and families we will see emerge as we take this to heart and live it.. You’ve said it profoundly. Thank you!

    [Reply]

  7. Ian Borkent

    13. Apr, 2010

    Very true. Every leader needs to learn to be “the best I”, cause there’s only one of you! That’s why David didn’t wear Saul’s armor.

    I find your articles very inspiring and insight-giving to my own development and the development of people around me. We, leaders in the Netherlands, need to hear this stuff.
    .-= Ian Borkent´s last blog ..LOVE IS: CLEAR COMMUNICATION =-.

    [Reply]

  8. Paul Andrew

    13. Apr, 2010

    Thanks for the encouraging comments – Chris, Mavis, Barry & Ian…
    Paul

    [Reply]

  9. Di

    14. Apr, 2010

    Love your article on Airbrushes, Avatars and Authenticity Paul. Living authentically and facilitating others to do the same is one of my major passions. Really appreciate your honesty – it hits the spot. Regards Di

    [Reply]

  10. Andrew Corbett

    14. Apr, 2010

    This article really resonated with me because my experiences parallel yours as a a leader. I like the pragmatic and authentic approach associated with your articles and rather than creating yet another “Best Practice Leadership Book” perhaps there is room in the market for a series of “booklets” about “The Imperfect Leader”. This would allow an individual to aspire to be the best they can be, yet not strive to be the perfect “blancmangue / vanilla” leader that they think they need to be. Regards
    Andrew

    [Reply]

    Paul Andrew Reply:
    August 24th, 2010 at 10:30 am

    Andrew, I just came across this comment, and I agree – there’s far more need out there for talk about “imperfect” leaders than more rubbish that glosses over reality… Paul
    Paul Andrew´s last [type] ..What’s The Story

    [Reply]

  11. Scenografia

    15. Apr, 2010

    Thank you for this useful write-up! I additionally have got a weblog and i’m wondering, where can i acquire like wonderful theme similar to your own?

    [Reply]

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge